May I help you find your seat?

Don’t you hate it when you arrive at a concert or sporting event and as soon you walk into the venue you get bombarded by a pack of “Event Staff” asking to help you find your seat? “Oh, thank you!” I’ll think to myself. “I just would never have been able to decipher this ticket without your help! Ah, I see! Row C, which is right after rows A and B. I never would have guessed, given how crazy the alphabet can get. And my section, #12, is right over there, you say? Well thank god you’re here to point me in the right direction, because it would’ve taken me forever to see that giant, glowing “SECTION 12” sign. I was planning on starting my search around section 27, but now I’ll look between 11 and 13, as you suggest.”

The worst part of this process is when you get up from your seat to get some food or use the restroom, and when you return the same guy will demand to help you find your seat again. Of course I obediently hand over my ticket, because like most people I suffer from short-term memory loss after taking a leak. “Wait, let me get this straight: You’re telling me that my seat is right up ahead, directly next to the people I came with? Awesome! Thanks for clearing that up, because I probably would just get confused and end up sitting on that old woman’s lap over there.”